I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
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He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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