Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
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you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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