Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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