Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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