I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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