i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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