What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.