So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well