I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just blew my weed a kiss
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
