Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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