is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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