Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
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