Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
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At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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