Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
