Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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