who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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