Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize