Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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