best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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