How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
