I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
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i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
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I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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