And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
