Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
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