so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you win again, gameday.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize