I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize