I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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