Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
4 words: hood of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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