I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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