I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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