Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.