Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result

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  (480): ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result http://tfl.nu/ejuh
  Replies (25) Good night (527) Bad night (3321) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?

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  (408): Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge? http://tfl.nu/3h8y
  Replies (67) Good night (2099) Bad night (6007) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping

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  (570): whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping http://tfl.nu/vxfh
  Replies (24) Good night (5328) Bad night (1242) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?

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  (210): she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate? http://tfl.nu/d0z4
  Replies (19) Good night (4505) Bad night (2157) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?

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  (678): Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up? http://tfl.nu/320o
  Replies (10) Good night (2723) Bad night (763) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.

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  (617): Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex. http://tfl.nu/9jjl
  Replies (4) Good night (3933) Bad night (784) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.

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  (647): Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference. http://tfl.nu/9fcx
  Replies (7) Good night (2193) Bad night (1090)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.

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  (704): There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die. http://tfl.nu/gg2b
  Replies (15) Good night (458) Bad night (1756) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Disregard the shoes in the freezer.

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  (847): Disregard the shoes in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/ak94
  Replies (5) Good night (1752) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small

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  (513): Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small http://tfl.nu/dnf0
  Replies (6) Good night (1103) Bad night (1294) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.

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  (704): Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma. http://tfl.nu/71da
  Replies (6) Good night (1220) Bad night (387)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.

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  (603): i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck. http://tfl.nu/oxfo
  Replies (10) Good night (680) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.

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  (610): I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home. http://tfl.nu/onnq
  Replies (1) Good night (699) Bad night (239) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have

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  (970): I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have http://tfl.nu/0tm9
  Replies (7) Good night (1183) Bad night (205)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!

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  (908): Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas! http://tfl.nu/asvm
  Replies (1) Good night (601) Bad night (177) Order T-Shirt

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