Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.