Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public