My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
