It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize