I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
