I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight