Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
