omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...