Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?