it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
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Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
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ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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