M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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