she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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