well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
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as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
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I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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