the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
