I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.