You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.