I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"