when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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