...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.