is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
