I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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