it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
as a side note pls kill me
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
