One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
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It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
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I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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