We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
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I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
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This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i think im in europe. pls send help
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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