remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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