I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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